Dying Love...

when love dies...
it is a silent sigh..
nobody hears it coming..

there is no obituary
no funeral
no prayers by beloved

it is a lonely death

the most beautiful concept LOVE
dies the most unloved death ...

THE Connection...

she looked at me with her innocent eyes
she caressed me with her innocent fingers
she was upset...her mamma was weeping
she did not know the reason
but she felt uncomfortable
she hugged me
and kissed me
and gave me her best toy

oh...how she was willing to sacrifice
to see me happy

she had repaired my wounded soul
she had unknowingly
taught me the complexity of unconditional love
the purity of connection

for though she is only three
and i thirty three
and she does not have language grasp
and i dont talk much

she knows....

Donna..this is for you ...

so it was time for us to pack ... and leave ...for the most anticipated journey...journey to home....

but i had not expected this twist....a sudden meeting with an angel called Donna... she made me cry... made me feel .. as if i was leaving behind a precious bond..which was formed beyond the boundaries of geography...

she said we meet for a reason.. and i agreed with her 120%...

how would you explain a fact that somebody who had been just a face in the crowd of staff members of the hotel suddenly becomes a page in your life...an experience etched in granite... a meeting of two souls...so unexpected and so precious.

Donna is a grandmother (she does not look like one) and has 6 beautiful children..Donna is a person made of rock spirit ... a woman in whose eyes i saw life...

i wept.. and i was surprised ...what is it that made me cry when Donna said bye...

she wrapped gifts for us...gifts straight from her heart ... gifts i would cherish forever because it came with so much more than just a concept of "parting gift"..

Donna, you are special... and you will always remain a chapter in my life which will never be forgotten..i respect your take on life...salute..

Crystal memories in the transparent glassy cupboard...

There are memories
And there are layers of memories
I wrap each of them
Very carefully and tenderly
In satin and silk emotions
And put them
Neatly
In the glassy transparent cupboard of my psyche
To be protected by my white soul
And to be withdrawn in silent afternoons
Looked at, remembered and cherished
Felt, cried, touched, kissed, cradled
And then placed back ....
With a lingering desire to open them again....
In crisp afternoons..
During starry nights
When the waves of my emotions..
Touch a high..
And i go back to my ...
Glassy transparent cupboard...

I miss you badly.....

Things are great here...
It is a heaven for so many overseas-longing souls...
Life is neat
Roads are angular
Instructions are clear
People are perfumed
Trees feel lot greener
No noise, silence is a virtue they cherish
Anything that a mind can imagine is available..
They have done so well for themselves....
Oh...so perfect..oh..so dream like
So dream like..... that i want to get up...want to be awake
And...
Feel the peace beyond the silence
Smell people beyond the Gucci’s and Armani’s,
Oh..how i miss the broken roads and the jerks and the laughter and the song with that..
How i miss stopping by the road for a cup of tea and pakodas served in dirty plates but beautiful hearts...
I miss the messy rain and the crowded road
I miss being lost on road and happening to a place and people by chance...
Oh... i miss my people ..our little happiness
Our ownership of each other, our togetherness
The thriving and palpitating life beyond all imperfections
The immense satisfaction with so many basic needs pending around the corner of life..
Miss the hope and zest that soon the dreams will be true..
Miss the option of dreaming ..and the excitement of being alive
I miss the sense of belonging...
very soon i will be walking out of the night of cold perfections..
Into the arms of your warm imperfections....my mother...my entity..my country...

I am so glad ...i have a choice....
i am coming home.

Happy Birthday my Little sis..

Dear sis...
My doll..
My angel...my friend..
My mother ....my sister...my confidant..
There is nothing to offer you today
No kisses, no hugs, no gifts, no flowers..
I will package words
And gift you a bouquet of emotions
Of dreams and thoughts unspoken and unshared
I will tell you a story ..
Of a weak kid and a strong one..
Story of how when the weak kid failed and cried..the strong one would hold her hand
And fight the world...
Story of how when the weak kid fell...The strong kid would cry...
When the weak kid won...the strong one would celebrate
When the weak kid gave up...the strong one ...would persist...
When the weak was hungry ...strong would rush from her hostel with pack of noodles..
when weak felt lost..the strong one would spend her pocket money on books and paintings
and gift it to the weak one...
the strong one held weak one’s hand tightly in the crowd..
slowly and gradually...the weak one explored her life and became strong..
and the strong silently stood by her..scripting weak's completion without a word..
without any expectation ..without any return...
oh dear sis...
you became my strength at every step..
my anti-depressant
my inspiration
my ideal
my sky...
i dedicate who i am today to YOU ....
happy birthday dear darling..

Welcome to my Antique Shop...!!!

I run a small and indistinctive shop
I have trust, fidelity, love, honesty and some soul brands on my shelf..
In those olden days my shop used to be flooded
People liked experimenting with pure and long lasting stuff..
But now i am old..and tired..
Sitting alone and killing my time on my shelves
Dusting every piece of trust, honesty, fidelity etc..etc..
Waiting for a passer-by
Waiting for somebody who would at the least do a window shopping of ...
My precious collection of ...
Trust, honesty, love, fidelity etc..etc...
My shop is located just near that lane
Opposite the shop which sells money and lust..
It is a famous shop
Prominent location on the road..
So it is easy to locate my shop too...
Will you spread the word amongst your friend
Just in case...
They are on a look out for some brands of honesty, fidelity et al ....
They can drop by ..
All the products are everlasting and come with full life guarantee
If it does not work they can throw it in the nearby pond...!
Oh yes...
My shop’s name is
“Antique Collection”...

Insomnia..

I got up from deep sleep..and realised ...
I needed more money
I got a job of 5k
Next one for 25k
Third one for 45 k
I got a house
Bought a car
Got another house
Changed another job
earned money , more money and more money..
i needed more money...
i finally earned enough ..
Now...
I lie on the bed and wait....
I wait for
Deep sleep....
money cant buy me sleep..
would give all my money for sleep
but i am still
lying on my bed
and waiting ..
to sleep...

Dream has come true

published my collection of poems on pothi.com!! a long cherished dream .. has come true... it is an ode to two extremely important people in my life .... my gods...my parents :)

The Creator..

I saw the man on the bridge…

the airport…

the theatre....

the grand hotel….

The constructor of our modernity…

I noticed his flat stomach…

his muscular hands…

his beading forehead

and his acute eyes …..

My heart ached

My constructor could not construct his destiny…

I felt the weight of our modernity

On his hungry stomach....

Life and noise

Life comes to you without any noise

It hovers around you without any noise

It touches you and goes … without any noise

Silence the noise around you And you will hear life

Oh Sire...My Father...

I am the Kite.. You...The Ground...
No matter what is the stretch of sky...
No matter what is the strength of wind ..
No matter how far i am ..
No matter how high i am flying ...
No matter...no matter...no matter...
nothing matters...

You will still hold my string...
You will be my feet on ground..
Oh sire.... My Father..
You will be my wind ...beneath my wing...
And i your kite ...
Taking your dreams...to the sun...
Flying high in the sky...

who...

so who...
is the real seller..

the woman who sells her body for money
OR
the man who sells his soul for lust...

समंदर और पत्थर

देख रहो हो उस समुन्द्र का लहराना...

लहरा के..बल खा कर...उस पत्थर से टकराना॥

एक दिन .. या तो वह लहर थक कर चला जाएगा

या फिर वोह पत्थर चूर चूर हो जाएगा..

Broken trust..

Trust is like a precious Swarovski..
When you hold a broken trust carefully in the hand of your heart..
It keeps shredding your heart...
Slowly....and slowly....and gradually
One day you can die...
Of over-bleeding and ...
broken trust....

I know when i look at You...my sweetheart...

When you dance with the song
I know what happiness is...
When you croon with music and i hear life
I know what a melody is...
When you come back to me after i have been impatient with you
I know what unconditional love is...
When you feed me with your small hands
I know what patience is...
When you kiss me when i am crying for being rude with you
I know what forgiveness is ....
When you hug me in your small tight arms
I know what feeling protected is ...
I had not known so many things about life..i was so lonely
When you are around...
I know what being alive is ....

Equity...

when we were young we heard
sun shines on poor and rich
rain comes for poor and rich
....nature knows no difference....

now i am grown up ..
and discovered....
there is one more element of nature which knows no creed, class, color, etc...etc...
misery...

The winner and the loser...

So you have......
Broken my heart
Broken my dreams
Broken my entity
Broken my trust
Broken my self-respect..
But, you will be the winner and i the loser...
The day you manage to break ...
....my spirit...!!

Dream on my sweetheart…

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My Steffi. My Dream.

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Aviation Mueseum Trip

Speed of life...

I see very fast paced vehicles
On very busy roads
Moving fast....................... towards
Crawling life....

I am happy .. and i thank you....

I thank you god..
For the sunshine and the wind..
For the love and the dreams..
For making sure i got what i wanted the most..
For blessing me when i felt lost...
For helping me find you in the flowers..
In the depth and in the towers...
In the night and in the day...
In the rain and in the hay...
In my heart and in my mind
For helping my soul unwind...
For meeting me in the song..
My soul feels like dancing today
For i see your kindness and you in and around...

color..

sometimes in the silent tunnel of my soul
i sit and meditate

which color am i
a cool blue...?
a jealous green...?
a godly sunset orange....?
a fiery red...?
an evolved indigo...?
or just a plain grey ...

what color......

and then i hear a soft song caressing my soul

i get my answer...

i am the color WHITE
amalgamation of all the colors
a color with no color
with all colors..