Welcome to my Antique Shop...!!!

I run a small and indistinctive shop
I have trust, fidelity, love, honesty and some soul brands on my shelf..
In those olden days my shop used to be flooded
People liked experimenting with pure and long lasting stuff..
But now i am old..and tired..
Sitting alone and killing my time on my shelves
Dusting every piece of trust, honesty, fidelity etc..etc..
Waiting for a passer-by
Waiting for somebody who would at the least do a window shopping of ...
My precious collection of ...
Trust, honesty, love, fidelity etc..etc...
My shop is located just near that lane
Opposite the shop which sells money and lust..
It is a famous shop
Prominent location on the road..
So it is easy to locate my shop too...
Will you spread the word amongst your friend
Just in case...
They are on a look out for some brands of honesty, fidelity et al ....
They can drop by ..
All the products are everlasting and come with full life guarantee
If it does not work they can throw it in the nearby pond...!
Oh yes...
My shop’s name is
“Antique Collection”...

Insomnia..

I got up from deep sleep..and realised ...
I needed more money
I got a job of 5k
Next one for 25k
Third one for 45 k
I got a house
Bought a car
Got another house
Changed another job
earned money , more money and more money..
i needed more money...
i finally earned enough ..
Now...
I lie on the bed and wait....
I wait for
Deep sleep....
money cant buy me sleep..
would give all my money for sleep
but i am still
lying on my bed
and waiting ..
to sleep...

Dream has come true

published my collection of poems on pothi.com!! a long cherished dream .. has come true... it is an ode to two extremely important people in my life .... my gods...my parents :)

The Creator..

I saw the man on the bridge…

the airport…

the theatre....

the grand hotel….

The constructor of our modernity…

I noticed his flat stomach…

his muscular hands…

his beading forehead

and his acute eyes …..

My heart ached

My constructor could not construct his destiny…

I felt the weight of our modernity

On his hungry stomach....

Life and noise

Life comes to you without any noise

It hovers around you without any noise

It touches you and goes … without any noise

Silence the noise around you And you will hear life

Oh Sire...My Father...

I am the Kite.. You...The Ground...
No matter what is the stretch of sky...
No matter what is the strength of wind ..
No matter how far i am ..
No matter how high i am flying ...
No matter...no matter...no matter...
nothing matters...

You will still hold my string...
You will be my feet on ground..
Oh sire.... My Father..
You will be my wind ...beneath my wing...
And i your kite ...
Taking your dreams...to the sun...
Flying high in the sky...

who...

so who...
is the real seller..

the woman who sells her body for money
OR
the man who sells his soul for lust...

समंदर और पत्थर

देख रहो हो उस समुन्द्र का लहराना...

लहरा के..बल खा कर...उस पत्थर से टकराना॥

एक दिन .. या तो वह लहर थक कर चला जाएगा

या फिर वोह पत्थर चूर चूर हो जाएगा..

Broken trust..

Trust is like a precious Swarovski..
When you hold a broken trust carefully in the hand of your heart..
It keeps shredding your heart...
Slowly....and slowly....and gradually
One day you can die...
Of over-bleeding and ...
broken trust....

I know when i look at You...my sweetheart...

When you dance with the song
I know what happiness is...
When you croon with music and i hear life
I know what a melody is...
When you come back to me after i have been impatient with you
I know what unconditional love is...
When you feed me with your small hands
I know what patience is...
When you kiss me when i am crying for being rude with you
I know what forgiveness is ....
When you hug me in your small tight arms
I know what feeling protected is ...
I had not known so many things about life..i was so lonely
When you are around...
I know what being alive is ....

Equity...

when we were young we heard
sun shines on poor and rich
rain comes for poor and rich
....nature knows no difference....

now i am grown up ..
and discovered....
there is one more element of nature which knows no creed, class, color, etc...etc...
misery...

The winner and the loser...

So you have......
Broken my heart
Broken my dreams
Broken my entity
Broken my trust
Broken my self-respect..
But, you will be the winner and i the loser...
The day you manage to break ...
....my spirit...!!

Dream on my sweetheart…

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My Steffi. My Dream.

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Aviation Mueseum Trip

Speed of life...

I see very fast paced vehicles
On very busy roads
Moving fast....................... towards
Crawling life....

I am happy .. and i thank you....

I thank you god..
For the sunshine and the wind..
For the love and the dreams..
For making sure i got what i wanted the most..
For blessing me when i felt lost...
For helping me find you in the flowers..
In the depth and in the towers...
In the night and in the day...
In the rain and in the hay...
In my heart and in my mind
For helping my soul unwind...
For meeting me in the song..
My soul feels like dancing today
For i see your kindness and you in and around...

color..

sometimes in the silent tunnel of my soul
i sit and meditate

which color am i
a cool blue...?
a jealous green...?
a godly sunset orange....?
a fiery red...?
an evolved indigo...?
or just a plain grey ...

what color......

and then i hear a soft song caressing my soul

i get my answer...

i am the color WHITE
amalgamation of all the colors
a color with no color
with all colors..

in the desert of my soul...

i look for silence and peace...

in the ocean of my mind..

i try to locate serenity...

this incessant voice in my head...

this incessant noise in my heart....

i search for non-existence .. here .. there.. everywhere..

in that depth .. in the height....in the mind..in the soul....

i am tired of existing as ME...

then i come back home .. ....

and hold my baby in my arms...

i see my quest ...lying in her innocent eyes...

i find my peace...

i find my silence..

i find myself... in her smile...

i lose my existence.... and i rest in her existence....

little ode to some important souls .. who showed me the way

i am not a famous person.. i could never go and stage and thank all the people who have been architects of who i am ..
i am still lost.. still in search of who i am ... still wandering
but in the night when i talk to moon and play with stars..inside the serenity of my being ...tears roll down my cheek .... thinking ....

my parents went against societal norms to educate me .. knowing i will be somebody's wife one day and i will unlike sons never be able to give back their investment (emotional and financial) on me to them in any form....when i cried they howled, when i hurt they died... they helped me discover god.. they are my god....

my younger sister saved her savings to gift an easel and oil paints to me only because i told her about this incessant and uncontrolled urge in me to lift a brush...when i did not know how to hold it!! ...she taught me selflessness.... she reinforced the fact that we have been together.. for lifetimes

my elder sister gave up her saving to gift me golden earings...knowing well that she needed the money for her children's education... knowing well .. that i will never give back to her what she gave me .. knowing well ... i will not be there for her when she really needs me .... knowing everything well...she taught me ... loving is knowing everything and yet....loving...

they told me ....world out there is tough.. they cheat.. .they misuse.. and i left myself to all the friends who happened to my life... and...they enveloped me like a baby and sealed me from the cold waves....they were my trust.. they showed me ...world was good..

when i started working ... people cautioned... the world out there is out to get you ... i left myself to my mentors who guided me through and protected me like a rock...they taught me .... world was good

a simple soul... my husband.... showed me how love can happen without rose and chocolate.. he taught me ...loving was forgiving...loving was helping your wife when she is tired ... loving was preparing dinner for your spouse when she did not want to .. loving was ..saving your pocket money to get her a camera because she loved photography... he reinforced my belief.. that we meet soulmates.. .that love exists...

tears drop ... and roll down my cheeks...when ...

amidst stars and while playing with wind ....

i think of all the angels..who happened to my life... and made it so beautiful......

this is my humble ode to them ....

Who am i ?

wandering in the desert of my body
who am i
a soul?
how old am i ?
carrying my body on my shoulder i might be 100 yrs old in my mind...
in the silence of the crunching leaves...
i ask myself who am i

a soul
an old body
an old soul
or a soul carrying the burden of my body...

who am i?