i am nothing without YOU...

she initiated me into the blogging world... i was inspired when i saw her blog and she helped me build this holy void of mine...

• i was a small girl and some petals of a flower fell in my eyes while playing in school ground, she went mad... and threatened everybody with dire consequences if something would go wrong with my eyes..we were barely 7-8 yrs old then
• when during her college interview the panel thought it was ridiculous that i could be her local guardian since i was not married and i was not "old" enough , she chose to quit the college instead of seeing me being insulted infront of the panel - Miranda House was a dream and i was scared that she would not get the seat because of me..but she was not scared..she loved me too much to see anybody talk to me rudely -she did get the seat :) -  we were teenagers then
• i was hungry and i wanted to have chowmein- i did not know where i could locate it in north campus of delhi university - within 30 mts she was on the door of my hostel with a packet from her hostel canteen.. ... we must have been in our twenties or something 
• one morning she called me saying she had to tell me something urgent - she took me to her hostel room and gave me a surprise!! when i opened my eyes there was a brilliant new music system kept as my gift. she had saved her pocket money to buy it.... we were in our twenties or something 
• once we were sitting on a bus stand and a man made a gesture at me - she pounced at him and held him by his collar - i had to calm her down... i never missed a man in my life (movies say they protect you!!) when she was with me 
• when i grew old and started with my career after my masters, i could never have enough money in my first job- the place where i stayed was too expensive and my salary - lower than stipends of some well placed students. i would borrow from her every month and when i would go to return the money to her she would refuse it saying "ours is a relationship, not a business"
• when i started doing well in my job but had no time and still no saving for my hobbies i once expressed my violent urge to start with an oil paint when in real life i had never lifted a brush - she was there with a set of canvas, colors, brush and an easel  on my birthday, she continued getting me canvas pads later too and still loves to see my paintings..
• when i fell in love with a man who was a concept in my head she rang him up and i don't know what she told him (i never talked to him and she never told me) but i guess the essence was - don't mess with my sister and don't hurt her. i only came to know that she was in touch with him when  i got a message saying my sister was tensed since she was not able to locate me and she had rung him up asking about my whereabouts. i had forgotten to tell her that i was going for a night stay with a group of my friends at their house! 
• the most precious books of my library has come from her pocket money....
• now i am married with a kid - she still saves her pocket money and sends me kurtas and bags from delhi.  she sends gifts for my child too ! 

she was born my younger sister but i genuinely feel that once god had finished my creation he was worried who would actually love me and take care of me (given my schizophrenic idiosyncrasy) so he made her .... the other end - she the fair, the lovely, the caring, the strong, value oriented, soft and genuine... i call her my mother... she mothered me when i needed her ... 

she appears in all my predictive dreams along with my father 

i can never in words put across what she means to me , this song can perhaps give words to my feeling...